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Feb. 17th, 2012 11:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pawneeswomanoftheyearHi everyone!!!!
It's Leslie Knope, from the Parks Department of Pawnee, Indiana. Am I from the best Parks Department in the world??? Almost probably!! Anyone could see that, even a heartless auditor from Indianapolis who doesn't understand the importance of our prize-winning Pawneean parks.
So the only prize they've won was "Highest National Rate of Unreported Arson". They were shortlisted for several prestigious awards celebrating biodiversity, although the nominations were all pulled when we explained that all the raccoons came from a single, possibly unearthly source. If biodiversity could be judged on quantities alone, Pawnee's parks would be America's champions.
In all my life in Pawnee, I've always found that quantity beats quality. So perhaps we don't have orchid cultivation beds like they do in Eagleton parks. What matters is that the rumours of marijuana plants in Pawnee's parks were completely untrue, and even if they were, at least people cared so much about the implications for the community that they rushed to our parks to check it out. Eagleton parks aren't even open to the public. They're too scared that someone might bruise an orchid stem while they're having some FUN. Our Pawneean parks are open to the public day and night, although the latter is mainly due to park ranger budgetary shortages.
Openness brings me to my next point. Leslie Knope, you might be thinking, of the Parks Department, what's with the sudden blog? Well, blog-reader, you might be aware that I am, strictly speaking, not of the Parks and Recreation Department of Pawnee, Indiana at this moment. Do I still care about parks, and to a slightly lesser extent recreation? Absolutely. I could not be more passionate. But the state government doesn't share my passion, and the state auditors wouldn't recognise a great park or a great recreational action if they were standing in or involved in one right now. I would like to stress that the only reason I am temporarily unattached to the government of Pawnee is because it doesn't exist right now.
However, I am filled with hope for the future, and that's why I have started this electronic journal, or blog. It is to document those hopes. That's the purpose. It is absotivilutely not, in any way, an endorsement of the word "absotivilutely", and I apologise for the brief misapprehension that it could be. What it is, and what it will be is a chance for me to reach out to the huge numbers of vocal, passionate, and caring citizens of Pawnee who are desperately clamoring for their government back, mosty for the general stability but partly and specifically for the prize-winning parks. I know they are out there. That's why I became a blogger, to find them, to connect with them and to help them to channel their righteous outrage to where it can best be heard. One example of such a place are the offices of Chris Traeger and Benjamin Wyatt, state auditors, that's Wyatt with two Ts and Traeger with an aeger.
See? Openness. Government connecting with the citizen, for a better today and a better tomorrow, and maybe even a better yesterday, because you can be more charitable about the mistakes of the past when you know that you're channelling your future on a safe course towards the hydroelectric dam of American dreams and American dreamers. That's where my sights are set. That, and controlling the spread of raccoon nests within close proximities of our children's play areas.
So welcome to my blog! While I wait for the concerned citizens of Pawnee to flock to my rallying point, I may as well use it to consider and explore some of the areas of life I've not yet experienced. Like daytime television. Or night time television. Or even video games!! So goodbye for now, Pawnee and the rest of the internet, but rest assured, just as the plumber jumps around the turtle-pipes to catch the princess, so will I, Leslie Knope, of the Parks Department, be jumping around this blog to catch the calls for action that will be dropped from the sky of internet communities by the angry gorilla of community-minded citizens.
Goodbye!!!
- Leslie Knope
(Department of Parks and Recreation)
It's Leslie Knope, from the Parks Department of Pawnee, Indiana. Am I from the best Parks Department in the world??? Almost probably!! Anyone could see that, even a heartless auditor from Indianapolis who doesn't understand the importance of our prize-winning Pawneean parks.
So the only prize they've won was "Highest National Rate of Unreported Arson". They were shortlisted for several prestigious awards celebrating biodiversity, although the nominations were all pulled when we explained that all the raccoons came from a single, possibly unearthly source. If biodiversity could be judged on quantities alone, Pawnee's parks would be America's champions.
In all my life in Pawnee, I've always found that quantity beats quality. So perhaps we don't have orchid cultivation beds like they do in Eagleton parks. What matters is that the rumours of marijuana plants in Pawnee's parks were completely untrue, and even if they were, at least people cared so much about the implications for the community that they rushed to our parks to check it out. Eagleton parks aren't even open to the public. They're too scared that someone might bruise an orchid stem while they're having some FUN. Our Pawneean parks are open to the public day and night, although the latter is mainly due to park ranger budgetary shortages.
Openness brings me to my next point. Leslie Knope, you might be thinking, of the Parks Department, what's with the sudden blog? Well, blog-reader, you might be aware that I am, strictly speaking, not of the Parks and Recreation Department of Pawnee, Indiana at this moment. Do I still care about parks, and to a slightly lesser extent recreation? Absolutely. I could not be more passionate. But the state government doesn't share my passion, and the state auditors wouldn't recognise a great park or a great recreational action if they were standing in or involved in one right now. I would like to stress that the only reason I am temporarily unattached to the government of Pawnee is because it doesn't exist right now.
However, I am filled with hope for the future, and that's why I have started this electronic journal, or blog. It is to document those hopes. That's the purpose. It is absotivilutely not, in any way, an endorsement of the word "absotivilutely", and I apologise for the brief misapprehension that it could be. What it is, and what it will be is a chance for me to reach out to the huge numbers of vocal, passionate, and caring citizens of Pawnee who are desperately clamoring for their government back, mosty for the general stability but partly and specifically for the prize-winning parks. I know they are out there. That's why I became a blogger, to find them, to connect with them and to help them to channel their righteous outrage to where it can best be heard. One example of such a place are the offices of Chris Traeger and Benjamin Wyatt, state auditors, that's Wyatt with two Ts and Traeger with an aeger.
See? Openness. Government connecting with the citizen, for a better today and a better tomorrow, and maybe even a better yesterday, because you can be more charitable about the mistakes of the past when you know that you're channelling your future on a safe course towards the hydroelectric dam of American dreams and American dreamers. That's where my sights are set. That, and controlling the spread of raccoon nests within close proximities of our children's play areas.
So welcome to my blog! While I wait for the concerned citizens of Pawnee to flock to my rallying point, I may as well use it to consider and explore some of the areas of life I've not yet experienced. Like daytime television. Or night time television. Or even video games!! So goodbye for now, Pawnee and the rest of the internet, but rest assured, just as the plumber jumps around the turtle-pipes to catch the princess, so will I, Leslie Knope, of the Parks Department, be jumping around this blog to catch the calls for action that will be dropped from the sky of internet communities by the angry gorilla of community-minded citizens.
Goodbye!!!
- Leslie Knope
(Department of Parks and Recreation)
